


Further Away

by katmint



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: F/M, Oneshot, Petty, Seth is OC again, Sorry Sonja, angsty maybe?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:49:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8562721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katmint/pseuds/katmint
Summary: The one where Seth keeps calling Sonja by Kate's name.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm literal garbage. This is a revenge piece, to spite everyone who complained about the SethKate goodness in s3 finale. I saw some people dissing Kate while stanning for Sonja's one dimensional character and this is what came of it. Because I'm p e t t y. Sorry Sonja, girl. My writing is still terrible, rushed and unbeta'd, so I'm sorry.

Apparently Sonja was a very understanding woman. Any sane person would have been long gone in the exact opposite direction of Seth. So, Seth supposed, Sonja was a very understanding and very not sane woman. Aside from not shooting his huevos off after he went H.H. Holmes on her and left her passed out in her hole-in-the-wall tattoo shop, she had actually helped him get clean and sober. During that time Seth had been in a bad way and she didn’t take off running; not even after he had almost emptied his clip into her face in a state of delirium. Still, given even her twenty thousand dollar investment in his sobriety she had been pretty attentive; almost bordering on caring. If he hadn’t been too out of his mind to dwell on it Seth would have found her sudden demeanor very weird.

After losing Kate, Seth had been unable to cope in his darkest hour and latched onto something to fill the void; and there had been Sonja. Beggars can’t be choosers and in his state he didn’t have the luxury of being picky. Being alone had never been Seth’s strong suit. Isolation and desperation for the distraction companionship would bring him made him stupid. Richie had left him high and dry at the Twister for that dancing succubus bitch. Then in a fit of fearful rage he had sent Kate away. _His Kate._

He never had any illusions of getting the girl and riding off into the sunset. Even if he hadn’t been a useless dope fiend for most of their time together, he had gotten Kate’s family killed. Seth knew what he deserved and it definitely wasn’t the sweet blushing pastor’s daughter. Even knowing that, he would be damned if he didn’t want her. She was the most pure thing he had ever behold, and he had wanted to cherish her. Instead, he had been cruel and mocking. _Stupid bastard._

Even Kate hadn’t been enough to tame the darkness inside of him though. For the first time in his life, he had been the lone Gecko and he had spun out of control. Maybe he should’ve wished he hadn’t taken Kate down that road with him, but as selfish as he was, he had needed her. So he continued to tamper down his sliver of a conscience when it came to her. Until the day he left her with a bag of money and an old car.

When Seth finally cleaned up and became more aware, the questions had started to pile up. Like why hell spawn were hunting him down in search of his idiot brother, or why Sonja kept bringing up said idiotic brother. The warning bells in his head rang so loudly his teeth should’ve chattered with it. When he had confronted her she had taken off, and he had been ready to wash his hands of her. He was done with people trying to con him to get to his brother. They could fucking have him.

But when Carlos showed up and kicked his shit in, Sonja had returned just in time to save Seth’s ass and he could only be grateful. Seth decided then that even if he couldn’t trust her, he could trust that she wanted her money. So it was need that kept them together. Plus he could always use another set of eyes and it really wasn’t all bad. They had developed a sort of camaraderie even. There was just one problem; Seth couldn’t stop calling her the wrong name.

 

He doesn’t even remember the first time he did it. He remembers coming down from that last high and seeing Kate standing at the door. He remembers the feeling of bliss that enveloped him at the sight of her. He doesn’t remember muttering her name over and over again. Sonja does though. They still had five hours of road between Mexico and Houston and had spent the last hour driving in a silence that Seth was more than comfortable maintaining. Then Sonja starts in a tone that says she knows she’s asking for trouble.

“So...” she trails off. “That little girl you needed the passport for. Kate?"

She emphasizes the “T" in her name like she’s tasting it. It doesn’t sound right coming from her and he hates it.

He had been trying not to think about Kate or where she might be. Seth had always been very good at compartmentalizing, a trait picked up from the stress of the job. And right now Kate was locked away very carefully in a box tucked all the way into the back of his mind.

Seth didn’t turn to look at her but he was on the defensive. “What about her?"

“You called me by her name when you were coming down; before you went all Hulk on me.” If she noticed his discomfort she just didn’t care. “What happened?”

“She’s gone,” Seth grumbled.

“Did she die?"

The mental 'Kate box’ rattled as images of her flickered through his mind. He had to keep this short and sweet. “We went our separate ways, that's all."

Not exactly true; more like he had actually tossed her aside. He didn’t want to talk about Kate. It was too hard and he definitely wasn’t going to disclose information about her to a god damn stranger. Seth hadn’t let her go like that just to put her in danger.

 _But she is in danger_ , a voice in his head reminded him. _You’ve left her on her own in this world you forced her into._

Sonja cut into his thoughts with her own inquiries. “Just like that?"

“Just like that," he reiterated, not even sparing her a glance.

“You seemed pretty set on getting her a new identity.... A new life,” Sonja pressed. “And now she’s just gone? ” _Did this broad ever know when to stop?_

The box was officially open and he went back to the day it all went to hell.

They had both been too stunned to speak for a good ten minutes, but when Kate spoke first with a shaky voice and tears, Seth had snapped. Anger was always an easier pill to swallow than fear. And God, if he hadn’t been scared. She had come so close to dying and he and his brother had put her in that situation. _So much for no bumps or scrapes._ He was a certified piece of shit. He never claimed to be a good man and he never had any fantasies about being redeemed. But seeing her with the blood on her face, her shaking hands holding the disappointing loot in her lap; Seth realized he had to cut Kate loose. He knew in an instant that he needed shove her out of this life, his life. She would never be safe otherwise.

Seth didn’t realize the death grip he had on the steering wheel until he felt the leather cutting into his palm. He released his grip while releasing a breath and decided the conversation was over.

“I lost her, alright? Just drop it.”

He didn’t really hear her defensive response nor did he care to reply.

 

The second time it happens, they‘re an hour out from Eddie‘s. With Sonja now behind the wheel, Seth had free range to retreat into his mind. He was continuously being flooded with memories of Kate. The vibration he had felt in his fingertips when he had grasped her hand in his, the energy that charged through him when they had succeeded and walked out with that money. Kate’s scream and the blood splatter across their faces when the Regulator blew Rafa’s throat out. The way Seth had tried to shield her with his body when the barrel of that shotgun was staring down at them.

It wasn’t until Sonja barked out his name that he came back to reality. Sonja was staring at him expectantly and he had no idea what was said.

”Huh?‘ He asked stupidly.

She huffed in annoyance. “I said what makes you so sure you can trust this Eddie guy? Last I checked people aren’t just handing out scores like candy. Especially not to the Gecko brothers.”

Seth didn‘t bother to ask her what she meant. He had burned a lot of bridges trying to get his brother to El Rey.

“This man practically raised me and if anyone can get us an in, it’s him." Seth reassured her.

Sonja was not reassured. “Well, no offense to your uncle, but I’m not gonna put the fate of my payment into his hands.”

He was starting to wonder why he had brought her along. _Because she needed her money and you needed a distraction_ , the voice whispered.

Then she added on snarkily, “Especially not if he’s the one responsible for you."

He turned to look at her again and sneered. “That’s real cute. I don’t see you coming up with any hits and if you want your money back this is the way to do it." The look she threw him spoke volumes on her doubt.

“Jesus, it’s like being in the car with Richie all over again. Would‘ya have some faith?”

“Given your recent track record-” Seth cut her off.

“Just trust me, Kate. We’ll find a job and it’s gonna play."

He hadn’t even noticed he said it at first. When he looked at Sonja she was just blinking at him in confusion, a slight tilt in her head. Playing back the last thing he said, Seth paled and his eyes widened in realization. Averting his eyes, he apologized and went on to silently berating himself for his slip up.

“It’s fine, Seth," She brushed it off with a quick look of pity thrown his way. Ever the understanding one.

 

The third time Seth had uttered Kate’s name he wasn’t quite sure it was an accident. He had just returned from Larry’s shop with Sonja’s money and a little something for himself for all his trouble. A beautifully restored 442 Oldsmobile that purred like a kitten when he had cranked that engine. An image of Kate riding in the passenger seat in one of her little sun dresses flitted through his mind, and it was gone just as quickly.

 _You don’t get to have her_ , the voice he now knew to be his guilty conscience affirmed. The truth hurt more than he cared to admit. He chose to focus on the moment and block out the rest.

“What is it with us?” Sonja asked around a smile. “I just feel like all we ever do is say goodbye.” He wanted to tell her she wasn’t the one he had said goodbye to. Instead he heard himself suggesting an arrangement.  
Seth was a selfish creature; self preservation above all else. Standing there with Sonja, Seth reasoned that if his mind couldn’t forget Kate on its own he would give it a nudge in the right direction.

 _It’s your heart, not your mind_ , the voice quipped as she kissed him. _Idiot._

Moments later, with Sonja calling the shots, they ended up in the shower. He tried to focus on the steady pulse of the water on his back and the feeling of her hands traveling his body. He knew he was supposed to be into this, but his buddy downstairs wasn’t receiving the message. He had a beautiful naked woman rubbing all over him, and he couldn’t even get it up. He shut his eyes and tried to channel his thoughts towards a more... amorous path.

 _You know what you really want. What could it hurt?_ His conscience licked around the edges of his mind, working its way into his senses. Behind his still closed eyes came the form of a fantasy woman. Flawless fair skin, stained with blushing cheeks, led to the prettiest bow shaped mouth. Chestnut brown hair flowed over her shoulders and his minds eye traveled down her body, taking in her naked form. He felt the stirring of arousal, and the feeling of Sonja’s hands on him were replaced with anothers. He wouldn’t dare give his mystery girl a name, was too afraid to admit to himself what he was doing. With a growl, Seth grabbed his girl and pressed her up against the shower wall. He kissed her with as much ardor as he could manage, trying to convey everything he couldn’t say with words. He was overcome with need for this girl and when he pressed into her, he could only throw his head back in a low moan. He didn‘t even notice when he began vocalizing his passion.

“Oh fuck, please just-” She was dominating his every thought and all he could see, hear and smell was her. One girl. “ _Kate..._ ”

Seconds later he was ripped from the fantasy and shoved away unceremoniously. He watched as Sonja stomped out of the shower and threw her robe back on angrily.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Looks like understanding Sonja was gone and in her place was a pissed off Sonja.

Seth threw a towel around his waist and ran a hand down his face. He had no idea how to explain this one. “Look-”

“You told me she was just a little girl. That’s what you said, Seth!” Sonja pointed an accusatory finger in his face.

“She is-”

“So much for her just being a little girl, huh? Guess she’s not too little for you to imagine while you’ve got your dick inside me.”

He wanted to hit something. He couldn’t believe this was his life. He was being haunted by the memory of a fucking church girl and he couldn’t escape her. _Pathetic._

“I’m fucking sorry, alright? You think I like this? You think I’m doing this for kicks?” He sagged against the wall and let out a defeated breath. He felt Sonja lean against the wall next to him and then there was a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“You’ve got it bad, huh?”

Seth snorted. Guess so. But he wasn’t going to admit it out loud. That would just open up a lot of doors he wasn’t ready for. So he lied while telling the truth.

“She’s just a little girl, like I said. It’s just the way I left her... I don’t know where she is. I got her into this life and I’m not even there to protect her."

_If she believes this she’s stupider than I am._

Sonja sighed next to him. “So, guilty conscience?" She asked skeptically. He was sure she didn’t buy his story but she didn’t call him out on it, thankfully.  
“That sucks,” she added. 

With that she walked out of the bathroom and left him alone with his guilt and the ghost of Kate.


End file.
